Feeling good,
It has been 12 days since my surgery. I am finally back in the office. Of course, I had to have my mom drive me to work, which reminded me of the time when I was 16 and I had to have her drive me to school when I had mono so that I could sleep all day and make it to school just long enough for them to not count me absent (and yes, I still went to basketball practice...so thanks mom!!).
As for the knee, it doesn't seem to change much day to day. It did feel better every single day up until Monday of last week. I kept expecting it to hurt a little less, be a little less comfortable and to keep feeling noticeably better every day. That is not the case. It feels about the same today as it did a week ago. The only thing I can really tell day to day is that my range of motion on the knee bends gets a little bit better with every set. Also, the other exercises get a little bit easier. But, I will know when I have made it because I will be able to do a full knee bend with ZERO pain and ZERO discomfort. And that is LONG way off. But, because it gets a little better every day I do have one thing I can push for in terms of very short term results.
One thing I did learn last night was to wear an ace bandage around my knee when I went to bed. Since the surgery I hadn't really slept more than an hour or two at a time without waking up from discomfort. As I was icing my knee last night, it dawned on me that it didn't really hurt at all when I had the ice pack wrapped around it. I knew this was partly from the ice, but I also knew it was partly from the compression. And that is when the little light bulb turned on right above my head like in the cartoons. PUT THE ACE BANDAGE ON BEFORE YOU GO TO BED!!!!! Well, it worked. I was immediately 50 times more comfortable as I laid down to go to sleep than I had been in months (I was really uncomfortable prior to surgery). I slept through the entire night and for once feel fairly well rested. I can't believe that I have made it through 6 years of college (and yes that is for two degrees), but that it took me a week to figure that out. I blame it on the pain medications (even though I stopped taking them last Monday).
Anyway, it has been a LONG 12 days. And, there are still another 35 days left until I can think about walking again. But, I knew it was going to be a marathon and not a sprint. That said, even though I read up on everything and knew what I was in for, there is no way to prepare for it mentally. I have had my share of injuries from playing sports through college. Broken leg, ankle, fingers...and NOTHING is even close to what I am going through now. And it's not so much the pain, it's the constant discomfort, the helpless feeling of not being independent, and knowing that there is nothing I can do to speed the recovery process. Just imagine that when I finally go to bed at the end of the day, I have to hop to the stairs, put both of my hands down on the step in front of me, hop up one step, move my hands to the next step and...well, you get the picture. It's hard, but I know what I need to do and I just need to stick with it.
Back to the feeling good part though...my friend Brad was nice enough to take me out over the weekend. We managed to make it up to the comedy club which was awesome because the comedian (Aries Spears) was really hilarious. Now, I might have thought that anyone was funny that night as it was my first time out of the house in forever, but the rest of the crowd seemed to agree. And maybe I was even destined to go that night...and by that I mean Greg Oden was there. So, if you follow the NBA or college basketball, you will know that he had the same surgery I had during his rookie season. I thought about going up to him and asking him how he dealt with it...and then I remembered that he never seemed really talkative in any interviews. Also, he is about 7' 6" tall, so he is just a little bit imposing. I even managed to have a few adult beverages...and just remember, crutches + drinks = be VERY careful. So, I managed to make it home in one piece without any events and staying upright on my crutches the whole night.
Before the comedy club I went and got a tattoo. Now, I have always been against them my entire life, but had done a lot of thinking about getting one in the recent months. Most of this is because of the "life changing" aspect that I mentioned in a prior blog. 9 days after surgery I knew it was true. Life never really will be the same for me. I never want to go through this again. I really will never run again or play basketball either. I hope to have kids one day and I want to be able to play with them and keep up with them. That means a lot of hard work. It also means NO basketball. Well, basketball was my thing (I played in high school and for my college). It's what I did to clear my head. It's what I did to deal with my first dog dying when I was a little kid. It was my meditation. Giving it up is like losing a part of myself. Anyway, I got to dwelling on that Wednesday and Thursday and ended up in a really depressed funk. I decided that wasn't going to help me and wasn't good for anyone around me either, and I needed something to help remind me to stay strong and to work hard. So, on Saturday I went and had the Chinese symbols for "determination" and "sacrifice" placed on the inside of my left bicep. I couldn't be happier about it. They are two words that I would use to describe myself anyway, and I feel like this well help keep that in sight so that I do not falter.
Well, that is it for now. I gotta get to work here. More to follow soon.
Z
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Hey Zach,
ReplyDeleteIt's all about the small victories along the way, isn't it? Glad you were able to get out of the house and have some fun. I should try to do more of that myself.
As far as basketball is concerned, why are you convinced that you will never be able to play again? Is that what the doctor(s) told you? I realize that basketball is a high impact sport, I've read stories of professional athletes that have had microfracture and been able to resume playing after recovery. I'm hoping to return to cycling (not at a professional level) which I realize is not a high impact activity.
I would think that wou would be able to play basketball again, at least on a recreational level. Maybe even more. I'm not trying to get your hopes up, as I'm NO expert on this stuff. I'm still learning more every day.
For me it's not so much as I physically won't be able to play at all. It's really more of a risk reward situation. I went to see 5 different doctors before having my surgery. They all told me basically the same thing. I can play basketball if I want, but then I would have to be ready for knee replacement surgery later on in life. The fibro-cartilage that will result just doesn't hold up well under high-impact stress. Unfortunately, basketball and soccer are the two worst sports. And, since I won't get paid for playing, the reward isn't worth the risk. My dad didn't have me until he was 39 and he had a lot of trouble keeping up with me after I passed the 10 year old mark. I hope to have kids one day and want to be able to keep up with them as long as possible. I may be able to shoot around, but I don't think that I would be able to play recreationally. I don't really have an on/off switch. I either play full out or I don't enjoy it. So, long story short, this surgery and recovery is enough of a pain in the a**. I don't want to go through any more and don't want to ever be limited again if I can avoid it.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, I took up swimming to try and get in shape before my surgery. I hope to get back to the pool soon after I get off these crutches. Try it out sometime if you haven't. It's a great low-impact workout that gets the whole body. I also plan on doing some more biking once I am ready for that as well.
I hear you. It's hard for me to hold back once I'm in "go for it" mode too. It's been torture for me to not be able to ride my bike for the last year while I tried to figure out what was wrong with my knee. It was my way of coping with life. My outlet and my daily transposrtation. I'm hoping I'll be able to return to the life I had before, but I know that I have to be prepared for the fact that that may not happen. I might have to find something else that brings balance to my life the way that cycling did.
ReplyDeleteI definitely want to try swimming once I get off the crutches as well. I know it can work wonders.
Today sucks. I woke up with a lot of stiffness and felt like a took a step back in recovery. Although it always does seem to be worse in the mornings. I'm sure this will happen alot. No fun.
Thanks for the note. I am hoping that swimming will fill the void for me. I was doing about an hour a day in the month or so leading up to surgery. I have even thought about finding some swim marathons to compete in (not that they have those in Ohio).
ReplyDeleteAs for feeling like you took a step back, I have come to realize that it's hard to track progress on a day-to-day basis. It's more of a week-to-week or month-to-month thing (hopefully the former). The knee is going to be sore and stiff and one day isn't going to change that. They key is to keep doing more exercise, increase the range of motion and keep the strength of the other muscles up. I have also focused on setting weekly goals for myself. Even if they are simple, it's something for me to know that I have accomplished what I set out to even if it doesn't translate into a noticable difference in my pain/discomfort.
It will get better!!!
Finally, how do you insert pictures and links into your post? I would like to start doing that.
Take care,
Zach